Wednesday, April 17, 2013

I’m a sexist prick! - Tomb Raider

After listening to all my friends and reading the phenomenal reviews of the new Tomb Raider online I decided to break and got myself a copy to play.
Now back in the original days I played the FUCK out of the original on the PS1 and started the sequel but as soon as the game became more about fighting than exploring I said “screw this stew” and never REALLY played another.
But with the new graphics, redesigned story and never ending peer pressure I decided to give it a shot.
I heard about the “rape”-like scenes and the brutal deaths they impose on this poor girl…… and none of that phased me so I trucked on until the first one I saw which was her getting crushed by some big rock…… you know what I just didn’t give a crap. I found no matter how good the game was I could not bring myself to be interested in it. I play it yes, but that’s because I’m a cheap POS and I’m not looking a “gift horse” in the mouth, PLUS I’m a sociopath obsessive compulsive…. Damn brain!
When my friend Fred asked me “Dude REALLY what did you think, amazing right?” I said “meh”.

See I am one of those people who oddly live vicariously through the character in the game, you can probably blame the silent Chrono for this opinion. I like to feel like I am the driving force between something great and a world changing end (I live a boring life) and somehow playing as a woman rips me so far away from this It’s almost vindictive how little I care about playing let alone trying to keep a giant stake from thrusting through this poor characters neck. I know it sounds bad but I’m also one of those people who could never create a female character in a game and almost panned those who did (Looking at you marc). I just don’t build a relationship with the character. It’s the same to me as when black people say there are not enough African-American protagonists in games for them.
Is this bad? I honestly don’t think so, it’s not that I hate women, in fact I love them…. Some parts better than others but I don’t have the underlying urge to want to pretend to be one at any point.
I personally don’t have a white knight syndrome so getting this girl out safely doesn’t overly appeal to me and knowing there is a checkpoint 2 seconds away just makes me think - 

 “yeah bitch you dead”.

Does this make it a bad game? HELL NO. I think they actually made something great here and could see it as a much better direction. There is some really good character development with Lara and I don’t see it as a prequel or her start because this character is really very different. I will say the human on human fighting gets a bit old quick because again the original was about “tomb raiding” and you fought very few humans. This one acts like a small population of different Caucasian men just consistently end up on this hidden island. I mean there are A LOT of guys to fight. I would rather fight a few good human battles than one every 5 minutes. They could have just had each area have like 5 guys and instead of killing them they run off and come back, until their inevitable real death. But you know that whole duck and cover mechanic the industry just loves.
Anyway I would say if you are not a sexist a-hole like me the game is a great piece.

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